How to Practise BDSM Solo: Safe & Exciting Self-Bound Techniques

Kink and the BDSM lifestyle are often represented as things you need a partner to pursue, but not everyone who is into BDSM roleplaying and scenarios is in a relationship, or they might be partnered with someone who isn’t kinky themselves. Dating is hard enough these days, and it can be even more difficult to find someone who is as open-minded and intrigued about the BDSM lifestyle as you are.

Still, it’s Masturbation May, and this month is all about self-pleasure, including indulging solo kink exploration and fulfilling your kink fantasies on your own! It’s absolutely possible to practise BDSM solo, and the great thing about doing it on your own is that playtime is truly centred on you and what you want, judgment-free. However, it’s critical that you proceed with safe BDSM practices and risk management strategies in mind. Do your research, take it slow, be careful, and listen to your body. Read on for some solo kink exploration ideas, and guidance on solo BDSM safety so you can treat yourself the way only you know how… 😉

Precautions to take when practising BDSM solo

We know you’re probably itching to get started, but since you’ll be playing on your own and there won’t be anyone around to keep a cool head in the event of an emergency or help you if you get stuck, it’s essential to know these essential principles of solo BDSM safety:

• Never restrict your airways or put anything around your neck other than your own hands — breath play or ‘erotic asphyxiation’ with a partner is a practice that demands consent, trust, and safe words/signals to ensure the scene proceeds smoothly, but at least with a trusted partner present, the vulnerable person in the compromised position is not solely responsible for their own release and safety. On the other hand, solo breath play, A.K.A ‘autoerotic asphyxiation’ is extremely risky and there is always the danger of serious injury or death if something goes wrong and there’s nobody around to free you from your predicament. Err on the side of caution and live to orgasm another day.
• Don’t tie yourself into any position you can’t easily get out of on your own, or that won’t self-release after a set amount of time — think about how you’ll be able to free yourself from your self-bondage once you’ve had enough. Will it be quick and easy, especially in the event of an emergency like a house fire? If not, consider only restraining one limb at a time, or simplify your restraint method. Speaking of which…
• Keep things simple — while creative BDSM scenarios can be fun, playing on your own is not the time to get flashy. The more complex your scene, the more things can go wrong. Do yourself a favour and try to minimise complications as much as you can, while you can. 
• Only use bondage equipment that is intended for use as BDSM restraints — regular fabric tied in knots can tighten as you pull and struggle against them, and zip-ties are a definite no-no as they’re thin enough to concentrate pressure on the nerves and cause damage when they dig into the skin. Instead, stick to non-locking cuffs, such as cuffs with Velcro closure so you don’t have to fiddle with buckles, or a silky bondage rope with simple knots that are easy to undo on your own. If you really love the idea of being locked in, keep the key within close reach, or in a timed release scenario, like an electronic time-release box, or frozen in a small block of ice so it has to melt before you can use it to free yourself.
• Leave a comfortable amount of slack in your restraints — you don’t have to be able to slip right out of your bindings, but if you’ve tied yourself up too tightly, you’ll lose circulation faster than you think. Not only does it become exponentially harder to free yourself once your muscles start losing feeling (especially in your extremities), it’ll be harder to stay calm, which can also hinder your attempts to free yourself. A prolonged lack of blood flow can cause long-term nerve damage, so it’s always a good idea to keep bondage safety scissors nearby to quickly cut your ties.
• Avoid combining open flames with self-bondage — the last thing you want is to end up in a situation where your best case scenario is property damage and embarrassment when someone eventually comes to rescue you and the worst case scenario is serious bodily harm, psychological trauma, and/or death. Use LED candles or dimmable lamps if you want the ambience, or enjoy your wax play/temperature play while fully mobile and with fire-extinguishing tools like a flame-retardant blanket nearby.
• Set up a safety call — let a trusted friend or partner know what you’re up to and tell them to call you at a specified time to check that everything is going smoothly. If you trust them enough to give them a key to the place you’re practising your self-bondage, they can let themselves in to help you if you need it. If you don’t pick up the call, they can also notify emergency services if you’re unresponsive or if your situation is beyond their ability to help.
• Aftercare is still essential during solo BDSM play —rehydrate, comfort yourself, soothe and massage any areas that need it, and give yourself time to come down slowly so you can spare yourself the experience of sub-drop.

What BDSM restraints & toys are ideal for solo play?

• You can try out cuffs by restraining one limb to a bedpost while masturbating. You can also experiment with an under-the-bed restraint system by cuffing both ankles and holding the other straps in one hand to provide the resistance you crave while still allowing yourself to get out with relative ease.
• Shibari, the Japanese art of rope bondage is one of the easiest ways to practise BDSM solo. There are plenty of instructional videos online and education resources from BDSM forums online that will show you how to tie basic knots and harnesses, which you can practise on a single leg at a time, or both if you’re confident and comfortable. You can create stunning rope patterns, perfect for enjoying visually as well as physically!
• Bondage tape is one of the most beginner-friendly BDSM restraints available as it’s specially designed to only stick to itself, not to skin or hair. You can unwrap it and reuse it later, or easily shear through it with your bondage safety scissors.
• As far as sensory play ideas go, feather ticklers are among the gentlest and safest to include in solo BDSM play. If you’re comfortable with sensory deprivation play on your own, pair your feather tickler with a blindfold to heighten the sensation of the feather as it delicately brushes over your skin
• Cock cages and chastity belts are great for chastity play if you like to deny yourself pleasure and practice orgasm denial! If you stay connected to a partner while technically being apart, an app-compatible device can contain and release you as your partner controls the device long-distance…
• When it comes to self-flagellation, riding crops and floggers are a better choice than whips for impact play as they won’t do as much damage and are easier to control than a whip. Floggers can also be trailed softly over the skin for a gentler sensation. Safe places to flog yourself are your outer thighs, buttocks, and arms. The inner thighs, upper arms, palms of your hands, chest area, and the upper back (avoiding the shoulders and spine) are low-risk areas, but you should take extra care to ensure only the tips of the flogger’s tails land on these areas and that they don’t wrap around your body. Use a shorter flogger if needed. Avoid all other areas and joints as they have vital organs, nerves, or bones close under the skin without much muscle or fat to protect them, and impact to those areas is not only dangerous, it is also not going to feel good in the erotic way you’re aiming for.
• Nipple clamps are also easy to incorporate into independent play and only need to be tugged on to intensify the pinching sensation. There are also vibrating nipple clamps if you’re keen to crank up the pleasure!
• Drip candles are a more intense way to indulge your sensory play ideas, perfect for those who enjoy temperature play. Always make sure you hold the candle far away enough from your body that by the time the wax lands, it’s cooled down enough that it won’t burn you.

If you’re excited to bring your solo kink fantasies to life this Masturbation May, visit Sexyland’s adult shops in-person and chat with our friendly Fun Specialists about the best accessories and safe BDSM practices, or shop our online range and get 2hr Delivery on bestselling sex toys so you can dive in…