How To Prepare For Anal Sex

While the taboo factor is still there for some, anal sex and anal play accessories are becoming more and more mainstream, and you’ll never know how it feels until you’ve tried it! If you’re curious about exploring the, ahem, backlands, this beginner’s guide to booty play is the perfect thing to brush up on before diving in.

General things to know about anal sex anatomy

Whether you’re bottoming or topping, it can help to know what you’re in for before you get into it, especially if you’re nervous about poop (which is totally normal BTW). Without getting too graphic, here’s a heads-up of what’s going on back there:

• Accidentally pooping during any type of sex is possible (especially if you have an orgasm because the contractions can, shall we say…push things along), but don’t stress! It’s not that common, and there are ways to prevent it from happening if you’re really concerned about it. Poop doesn’t live right at the anal entrance (thank goodness), it lives higher up in the rectum and is less likely to make an appearance if you’ve already had a bowel movement (BM) earlier on the same day.
• The sensation of being anally penetrated stimulates a lot of the same muscles and nerves involved in having a BM and can trigger the feeling of needing to go, so for your peace of mind, it’s always advisable to empty your bowels before you throw down.
• Your sphincter muscles are designed to stretch. In fact, they stretch every time you have a BM, and then they go back to normal to hold future poop in until it’s time for the next one. The same thing will happen during and after anal sex, so don’t worry about any dramatic or permanent stretching due to sex or anal play accessories like toys.
• Even though the sphincter is elastic, the anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina, so an intimate lubricant is essential, both for your comfort and safety. Lubricant will make your experience more comfortable and keep the fun flowing smoothly, and is also necessary to prevent tears in the delicate anal tissue due to the increased friction. Not only is sex painful when your skin is broken or damaged, it also increases your risk of contracting STIs, so be safe and throw on a condom too. When it comes to anal, there is no such thing as too much lube so be generous, and if you’re bottoming, be vocal about when you need reapplication!
• On the note of lubricant, it may be tempting to reach for a numbing formula if you’re afraid of anal sex being painful, but this isn’t what sex experts recommend, especially if you’re a backdoor beginner. Numbing ingredients can make it hard to feel when something’s not right back there, so it’s best to listen to your body as best as you can and avoid rushing as this will only make penetration more difficult and more painful. It’s much safer to just take things slow and steady to keep discomfort to a minimum instead of trying to ‘get it over with’.

Anal orgasms are a real thing, and are possible to have with or without a prostate. If you have a vagina, the close proximity of anal sex can stimulate some pleasure hotspots on the front wall of the vagina, such as the A-spot (A.K.A the ‘anterior fornix erogenous zone’) and the G-spot, resulting in super-intense orgasms!

Hygiene steps to follow before anal sex

For peace of mind and hygiene, cleaning and possibly grooming your behind is a good idea. There are several levels of thoroughness to cleaning, ranging from:

• using cleansing wipes
• taking a shower and massaging the whole area with body wash — if your partner is down to join you in the shower, this can be a great opportunity for fun foreplay, which can also help you both relax before the main event!
• douching — this involves repeatedly flushing water into the rectum for 5 seconds and releasing it until the water runs clear using a douche, or similar anal care products. It can take anywhere between 5 and 30 minutes, but you can stop any time if you decide you’ve had enough. If you’re after a quick but more thorough cleanse than showering and have at least an hour before anal sex, this is the best option. However, it’s important not to fill yourself with too much water, otherwise you’re in for a much longer cleaning process, which brings us to…
• using an enema — this is the deepest method of internal cleansing and can take up to 2–3 hours in the shower since it cleans you out entirely and is best reserved for long sessions, particularly well-endowed partners/large anal sex toys, and fisting. Instead of counting to 5 when filling yourself with water, count to 30, then release until the water runs clean (this is best done in the shower, not over the toilet). Once the water fills past your rectum and into the colon, there’s no turning back until you are absolutely finished, so don’t choose this cleansing option (or overfill when douching) if your playmate is en route to arrive soon!

Hygiene steps to follow during anal sex

• Share the love back and forth, not the bacteria — anything that’s been in your butt like a partner’s finger, penis, or a toy can carry faecal matter and bacteria, so don’t put it back into another part of your body like your mouth or vagina, or another person’s mouth, vagina, or butt with cleaning it in between. If you’re using a condom on top of the insertable item, you can also swap out the used condom for a clean one before getting back into the fun.
• Lay down a dark towel or waterproof sex blanket if you’re worried about mess from lubricant, cum, or residual poop. Sexyland are fans of the Sportsheets® Pivot™ Protector, which has the added benefit of looking just like a regular blanket when not in use!
• Have a designated safe spot like a nightstand with a clean tissue on top to lay down any anal sex toys before and after using them. This will prevent your toy from picking up any debris or germs before it goes inside you, and it will prevent the toy from spreading anything from the butt it’s been in around your surfaces.

Essential Pre-Anal Care Products Available at Sexyland

• Anal lubricant — unlike regular personal lubricants, anal-specific lubricants are usually enhanced with calming and/or moisturising ingredients, and have thicker consistencies for a cushioning effect. Water-based lubricants are best if you’re planning on using any silicone anal sex toys, though silicone-based lubricants last longer than their water-based counterparts if you want a smooth experience that requires less frequent reapplication.
• Douches/enemas — your go-to cleansing solutions. For a super-helpful, illustrated guide on all things anal cleansing, check out this PSA comic on how to clean inside your butt (available in English and 11 other languages)!

Condoms — always better safe than sorry, and condoms can help cut down on cleanup if you’re using them with toys or playing with multiple partners.

What positions are most comfortable for anal sex?

• Cowgirl/cowboy — this puts the bottom in control of the speed and depth of penetration, making it one of the more beginner-friendly anal sex positions out there. Just be sure to communicate to the penetrating partner when and if you’re ready for them to start thrusting.
• Doggy-style — this sex position is probably the one most often associated with anal because of the great view and easy positioning access, but it can also be quite a forgiving position for beginners! Just like with cowgirl/cowboy, the bottoming partner can be in control of the pace by rocking themselves back and forth on their hands and knees.
• Missionary — this vanilla-favourite position has a spicier side! The bottoming partner can place their legs on the top’s shoulders to angle their body back far enough for the top to have access to their backdoor. To give the bottom more control, they can place the soles of their feet against their partner’s shoulders to push back and release according to their comfort level. Just be sure that the bottom is adequately prepared with plenty of lubricant, foreplay, and a sensual yet relaxing atmosphere.
• The Speed Bump — by putting a pillow or some other soft support under the bottom’s stomach, this elevates their backside and leaves room to stimulate other body parts like the clitoris or penis for more fun!

Exploring Anal Toys: Top Picks from Sexyland

• Butt plugs —  anal plugs are designed with tapered tips for easy insertion and flared bodies that apply pressure against the walls of the anal canal, providing a satisfying sense of fullness. A great-beginner-friendly way to start out with backdoor play is with anal training kits, which come with multiple plugs of different sizes so you can progress at your own pace. The Pretty Love Beginner's Mini Anal Plug Kit comes with 3 plugs in graduating sizes, each equipped with a suction cup base for hands-free play!
• Anal beads — anal beads provide a ‘rippling’ sort of sensation that massages your anal entrance and the inner walls when you push the beads in and pull them out. The Booty Call X-10 Silicone Anal Beads start out with a super-small bead that gradually increases in size over the following 9 beads and end with a large ring that serves as an easy-pull handle so you can remove the beads once you’ve had your fill of fun.
• Prostate stimulators — while anyone can use a prostate stimulator, AMAB people who have prostate glands will get the most pleasure out of them. These anal sex toys have elongated, angled heads to help reach the ultra-sensitive P-spot where the tip will massage it for concentrated stimulation. The non-motorised versions usually rely on sphincter muscle contractions to draw them in against the P-spot while the motorised models vibrate, thrust, and even run rolling beads over it. A long-time Sexyland favourite is the Winyi Derek, which has warming, rotating, and vibration functions that you or a partner can control via remote control!

Ready to explore what’s behind the backdoor? Come see our full range of anal sex toys and anal care products at your nearest Sexyland adult store, or shop our extensive online range and get 2hr Delivery on bestselling anal play accessories so you can play your way tonight!