Nora Jo’s Tips on Spicing Up Foreplay

Hey y'all, it's Nora Jo again, dishing my tips on how to make your foreplay extra fun and ~flirty~ ! After all, sex is nice and all, but the journey there should be just as pleasurable as the destination, don't you think? Here are my tips for enhancing sexual intimacy with romantic foreplay techniques that’ll boost your bond in the bedroom and beyond… 🥵

What are some effective ways to spice up foreplay?

Use Communication to Enhance the Foreplay Experience

Foreplay is traditionally thought of as kissing, oral sex, hand stuff, and other ‘sex-lite’ things that people do to turn themselves on before having sex. However, even though foreplay is about creating a mood that is conducive to being physical and wanting sex, foreplay in and of itself can be enjoyed and celebrated, no matter what happens afterwards (if anything)! It’s also easier to keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship if you incorporate sexually arousing moments into your relationship other than the ones right before sex — this not only keeps things playful and spontaneous all throughout your relationship, it also indicates you care about having meaningful intimate interactions with each other rather than just the sex itself.

If you find yourself struggling to initiate foreplay or participate at the same level as your partner, don’t despair! Talk to them and tell them how you feel, how you want to feel, and how you think you can get there with your partner. This is also a good opportunity for them to express themselves and for you to get back to connecting the way partners should. If you have any fantasies you’d like to explore together, like using a couples toy, now is the time to share them too — who knows? It may lead to some new erotic foreplay ideas you’ve never tried before…

The Art of Anticipation: Building Desire Before Touch

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering where all the time you used to have for love, sex, and flirting has gone, I get it. It feels like everybody is busier than ever these days, what with work, study, family responsibilities, errands, and so on. Sadly for our intimate relationships, it’s easy to let things like sensual play fall by the wayside when you get swept up in the hustle and bustle of modern human existence — our partners will understand, and there will always be ‘another time’, right?

Take it from a polyamorous person who has been in multiple relationships simultaneously and had several partners to keep happy: there are only so many times you can put off meaningful erotic encounters before one or both of you starts to feel underappreciated. Even if you’re time-poor, it’s important to find ways to make your partner feel desired, despite life’s endless onslaught of stuff. Desire starts in the mind, and there are plenty of creative ways to let your partner know that you want them:

• Send them a flirtatious text — it doesn’t necessarily have to be something risqué if that’s not your thing, but even something as simple as ‘Thinking of you xx’ can be enough to put a smile on your lover’s face, and get them thinking of you too. Win-win! 😉
• Leave handwritten love notes for them to find — this has a similar effect as texting but with a cute old-school vibe that also feels more special because you took the time to physically pen down your feelings. A positive affirmation like telling your partner you’re proud of them, a cute inside joke, or telling your (insert affectionate nickname) to have a good day could be all it takes to bring the butterflies in their stomach to life.
• When making eye contact in a normal situation, trying winking, bouncing your eyebrows suggestively, or blowing a kiss at them — it might sound silly, but between people who already know and are attracted to each other, this is an easy way to show you think they’re hot stuff and that they should come give you a better look in the very, very near future. Even better if you’re in a situation where they can’t act upon their desires as you can subtly tease them and work them up into a frenzy in their head long before you even make it to the bedroom…
  (Alternatively, if you’re the goofy type like I am with my primary partner, this may turn into a secret, nonsensical language of yours that often devolves into just pulling silly faces at each other, but y’know what? A good time is a good time, and I ain’t here to yuck anybody’s yum.)

Setting the Scene: Ambience That Ignites the Senses

The right mood can electrify the air and fill it with romance and eroticism, all without you having to say a word at all. We’re not asking you to shred a bouquet of fresh roses to scatter petals everywhere, but little touches of effort here and there can make all the difference.

• Dress the part — donning some sexy wear for foreplay is a surefire way to get your lover’s attention, both in and out of the bedroom. It could be anything from a 3-piece suit your squeeze thinks you look oh-so-fine in, to a hot new lingerie set they haven’t seen before as a sexy surprise!
• Fine-tune a sexy playlist — as William Shakespeare said, “If music be the food of love, play on”. I have two sexytime playlists to suit the mood I want (one for slow, sensual, romantic lovemaking, and another for those wild, animalistic, reckless abandon kind of nights), but you can use whatever songs work for you and your partner to enhance the mood rather than distracting you from it.
• Light some candles — personally, I’m a fiend for scented candles and I always have one lit in my apartment. Who wants a house that just smells like house when you could have a house that smells like luscious vanilla, or your partner’s favourite fragrance? Not only that, but the flickering flame creates the perfect amount of dim yet flattering light to make everybody look good while casting sensual shadows dancing over your form…

Sensual Massage Techniques for Foreplay

Speaking of candles, you can get double the bang for your buck with a massage candle, which are made from waxes like soy, coconut, and beeswax that melt at low temperatures so you can safely drizzle them onto the skin. Alternatively, you can also use regular massage oil to get that dreamy slip factor as your hands glide over your partner’s body, or even a full-body massage gel if you’re curious about the erotic Japanese massage art of nuru! Either way, you’re going to want to put a towel down so you don’t have to worry about stains or extra cleanup.

My partner likes crazy deep, intense massages that would be way too rough for me, and he likes them on very concentrated spots. If the person you’re massaging is the same, I find that grinding the pointy parts of my knuckles in tight circular motions has him moaning in total relaxation in no time. When he wants lots of pressure, I use the knuckles at the very base of my fingers with the full weight of my upper body behind them (using one hand to stabilise myself if needed), and I switch to the next knuckles up from the base when he wants precision.

For the rest of us slightly more fragile folks, I find that a simple up and down glide over one large section of my body at a time (calves, thighs, buttocks, full back) with even pressure applied the whole way is a great way to ease into the massage. It helps to relieve my muscle tension without hurting too much or making me feel like I’m about to break. For more specific areas (neck, shoulders, lower back, etc.), I like a deep yet gradual kneading sensation where the buildup from zero-squeeze to maximum-squeeze is slow and smooth so there are no sudden jarring changes in sensation.

Here’s hoping you have as much fun putting these tips to the test as I did!

NJ xx