Prostate Stimulators: Breaking the Taboo for a Healthier Sex Life

Hey y’all, it’s Nora Jo again, and I am once again asking everyone with a prostate to give prostate play a try, especially cisgender, heterosexual men.

Now granted, I am not a man and I do not have a prostate, so I will never know what either of those things are really like from a first-hand basis. Everything I will be talking about in this article will be based on:

• the perspective of a cis woman who has had 4 years of experience researching prostate toys (that’s me!)
• the voices of male and non-binary people in my life who have tried it for themselves and were kind enough to describe their experiences for me
  and
• the advice of qualified sexual health experts and educators

So if the topic of prostate stimulators requires all of this preamble, why do I even care if dudes put stuff up their butts or not?

Because learning how to use a prostate stimulator goes beyond just feeling good (and it does feel good — they don’t call the prostate ‘the male G-spot’ for nothing), it’s also about breaking the taboo around male anal exploration and pleasure, particularly when viewed through a heteronormative lens. At the most basic level of human experiences, if you’re in the mood to be sexually aroused, it can feel good to stimulate yourself pretty much anywhere, and that includes the prostate, regardless of your sexual orientation. After all, what is the prostate other than just another part of the body that has the potential to give you pleasure? The P-spot is just a walnut-sized gland located at the root of the penis, just below the bladder, and it swells when aroused, not unlike our genitals. It’s possible to stimulate this area externally via the perineum (the section of skin between the anus and the base of the genitals, A.K.A the ‘taint’), but some people prefer a more direct approach like penetration, either with a finger, a penis, or a prostate stimulator toy.

There’s nothing inherently ‘gay’ about anal penetration or prostate stimulation — plenty of straight guys get prostate massages from their doctors for medical reasons from their doctors, like producing specific fluids a doctor can test for diagnostic purposes, alleviating erectile dysfunction, reducing prostate swelling, or relieving urethral pain while peeing. However, some people struggle with the idea of not being the penetrator and swapping to a receiver role, and there are also plenty of folks who like prostate play but are afraid to talk about it with anyone because they don’t want to be seen as ‘weird’.

But if more people speak up and start talking about it, start normalising it, there would probably be more open and honest conversations about prostate play, and maybe even sex overall!

Long story short, if the prostate gland didn’t live inside the anus, would there still be such a strong taboo against it?

And with that said, let’s get on with normalising prostate toys.

What are prostate stimulators?

Prostate stimulators are devices that help the user massage their prostate gland for sexual pleasure and to achieve a prostate orgasm (yes, that’s totally a thing) and can be used solo or partnered. These devices are often electronic to provide stroking, thrusting, or vibrating stimulation against the P-spot. Even the non-motorised prostate stimulators can be quite pleasurable as all prostate toys are curved to naturally target the prostate and deliver the sensations where you want them to go!

How to use a prostate stimulator

1. First thing’s first: lubricant. The anus is not self-lubricating like other orifices so it needs extra help from a dedicated anal lubricant, which are usually thicker than other lubricants and provide a cushioning effect for a more comfortable experience.
   
   Silicone-based lubricants are not compatible with sex toys made from silicone, so for maximum versatility across all materials, we recommend a water-based formula. The Wicked® Jelle Thickened Water-Based Anal Gel Lubricant is a long-time favourite for Sexyland customers who are anal play enthusiasts thanks to its thickened, jelly-like formula that provides a super long-lasting glide! There’s no such thing as too much lubricant when it comes to anal, so don’t be afraid to be generous when lubing up your prostate stimulator.
2. Once you’re ready to start, position the tip of the toy against the anal entrance and apply gentle pressure to insert it. You’ll need to wait for your muscles to relax rather than trying to force a toy into yourself, so wait until you’re ready before you slowly guide it in until you reach the hilt of the toy, or stop earlier than that if you feel any discomfort. From there, you can activate the motors with the prostate toy’s buttons, remote control, smartphone app, or however the instructions for your toy suggest.
3. To use a non-motorised prostate stimulator, you can either thrust it back and forth gently by hand, or tense your rectum repeatedly (because men’s kegel exercises are important too) to pulse it in and out of your body.
4. After your session is over, clean your prostate stimulator with some adult toy cleaner or antibacterial soap and warm water to sterilise it and get it hygienically fresh for next time!

How to choose the right prostate stimulator for you

Here are some key factors to consider when choosing a prostate stimulator:

• Size — if this is your first time using a prostate massager, it’s important that you pay attention to the toy’s dimensions (both overall and insertable) and start with a smaller one that your body can handle before you move up to a larger size.
• Ergonomics — all prostate stimulators will have an extended external arm or stopper of some kind to hold the toy at a safe depth inside your body, anchoring it from the outside, but some have looped handles for easier manoeuvrability, and some are more flexible than others. Explore your options in person at your local adult shop if you can, and don’t hesitate to ask the staff for help if you’d like personalised advice.
• Technological features — comfort and convenience are important factors to take into account in your choice of prostate stimulator, and tech like app-compatibility can enhance both comfort and convenience, as well as opening up new ways to play, including hands-free or long-distance between partners from anywhere in the world!
• Ease of care — it’s important to take care of what takes care of you, and that means your toys too! But some toys are easier to look after than others, perhaps because they’re waterproof, or rechargeable rather than needing replaceable batteries. Cleaning and powering up your motorised prostate toys is absolutely non-negotiable, so decide how much of a hassle you’re willing for it to be, because regardless of how much of a hassle it is, you are still going to have to do it.
• Price — while it’s true that a high price isn’t always indicative of high quality, it’s usually safer to assume that a toy with a suspiciously low price is too good to be true. Think about what your budget is and explore the range of prostate stimulators within that price range, comparing the features of each to see which one has the most features you like so you can get the best bang for your buck.

Some of the best prostate toys to buy at Sexyland include:

• The Sexyland Stallion Silicone Prostate Plug & Cock Ring — this is our ultra-popular 2-in-1 P-spot and penis toy that helps the wearer maintain a harder erection for longer while also massaging their prostate. It also comes in our newly released vibrating version for extra stimulation!
• The Winyi Alex Vibrating Rolling Ball Prostate Stimulator — this unique, contoured prostate massager has a pronounced ridge that rubs against your inner walls and vibrates in 10 modes while a rolling ball massages your prostate at the same time for pinpoint-precise pleasure!
• The X-Men Double-Ended Vibrating Ribbed Prostate Massager — shaped like a dual-ended wand, this prostate toy has two different textures and two different ways to enjoy it, with or without the vibrations turned on.

If you’d like tailored advice on how to choose the right prostate stimulator for you, shop our range of thrilling prostate stimulators through Sexyland’s online store, or check them out in person at your nearest Sexyland adult shop!

If you’re ready to take a peek at what pleasures lie behind the backdoor, don’t be afraid to start exploring. You never know how much more fulfilling your sex life might just become…

NJ xx